


To Carve A Life Together

by wolfpawn



Series: To Carve a Life Together [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 07:11:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2683901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfpawn/pseuds/wolfpawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another Imagine Loki Prompt</p><p>Imagine that you and Loki are joined in an arraigned marriage as part of a millennia old agreement between your father’s father and Odin’s father. The two of you never speak more than absolutely necessary and even sleep in separate quarters. All your life you had hoped to fall in love, marry, and have children but as things stand the first and last seem like an impossibility. The two of you haven’t even consummated the marriage and it’s been over six months! You’ve started to think that perhaps he finds you repulsive and doesn’t want to take the chance of conceiving. </p><p>You wake one night after a rather fitful attempt at sleep and decide to go for a walk to hopefully settle your nerves. You start into the hall and notice light coming from around a door you had never noticed before on the other side of Loki’s quarters. There in the candle light sets your husband with tools in hand surrounded by handmade baby furniture and asking himself softly, “Why do I keep doing this to myself? These will never be put to use….why would such a perfect creature such as she want to have the children of such an abomination?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Carve A Life Together

You sighed as you removed the hairpins that held your hair in place; different parts fell loose as you did. Staring into the mirror of the vanity table, you wondered what it was about you that was so off putting. Tears filled your eyes as you thought over the past few months. 

The day you were born, your father, Asgard’s highest general, had arranged for your betrothal to Loki, the second son of King Odin. Though growing up, you had been kept unaware of the arrangement, thinking that you were free to marry someone of your own choosing. Upon your coming of age, you were informed of the arrangement made between your father and the king, and were left gutted, it had always been your dream to be as happy in marriage as your parents were, and they had not been betrothed. You had been to many functions at the palace, and had on many an occasion met both princes, neither of which seemed even the slightest bit interested in talking to you bar mere formalities. Prince Thor only seemed interested in finding the company of those who would listen to him talk about himself, and Prince Loki, your betrothed, did not seem to even want to be in the same room as you, fleeing any room you entered within moments of you doing so. 

The day of your marriage came and went. In public, you stood side by side with Loki, usually with your hand on his arm, smiling when required, and with an air of propriety, but privately, things were very different. 

It was not uncommon for royal couples to have their own quarters, but such arrangements usually were superseded by the birth of more than one heir and not so soon into a marriage. Another issue that would most certainly cause comment and gossip were it to be made public was the fact that even after over six months since the wedding, the marriage had not been consummated, which hit you particularly hard. You had always yearned to have children, it was one aspect about the marriage to the prince that made you happy about it, as it was expected for the Loki, like any other royal, to continue the royal line, but his sheer reluctance to even consummate the marriage made you feel that the mere thought of you conceiving his child repulsed him, which crushed you. 

You finished disrobing and lay in your bed, alone and heartbroken, the same as every other night for the past few months. 

Sleep did not come easy to you, and long passed the stroke of midnight, you awoke in a cold sweat, unable to find rest. Rather than sitting in the bed tossing, you decided to take a saunter along the near deserted halls of the royal private wing, as you had done on many other occasions when sleep eluded you. Grabbing a cloak, you slipped out of your chambers silently, and walked along the gold gilded hallway, the Einherjar on watch all but ignoring you as you passed. 

Each royal chamber seemed so different, even externally; every doorway had a different insignia on it. The first you passed was Queen Frigga’s which was almost directly opposite your own, and further down the hall, next to yours, was your husbands. You took a moment to stare at the door, deeply saddened by the loveless marriage you had found yourself into the man that resided on the other side of it, you bit your lips together and sighed before turning and moving on. 

The next set of rooms you should have been scheduled to pass were Prince Thors, but before you came to the door with his thunder insignia upon it, you noticed a small sliver of light emitted from a wall that you had never seen before. You edged closer and your eyes widened as you realised it was an escape door that led into Loki’s chambers. The scene that greeted you inside caused you to freeze; heavy tears escaped your eyes without consent and slipped down your cheeks. 

Inside on the floor with his legs crossed in front of him, in the candlelight, was Loki, with carving tools in his hands. He placed the chisel he had been using on the floor and seemed to be inspecting the item he had finished, your eyes widened when you realised it was a cradle, the perfect size for an Asgardian child, with small markings signifying seidr, Loki’s greatest skill, and small wolves, your family insignia intricately carved into the wood perfectly. You scanned what little of the room you could see from your vantage point and noted it was not the only such item there, there also appeared to be a nursing chair, which could rock, a proper cot, and even a mobile with small plush stuffed Asgardian animals on it. Upon finishing his inspection, Loki seemed to look around at the different items before placing his head in his hands and sighing. 

“Why do I keep doing this to myself? These will never be put to use….why would such a perfect creature such as she want to have the children of such an abomination?” he seemed to be asking himself softly, a small quiver in his voice telling of the despair within him. 

You found it hard to comprehend what you were hearing. Loki was being tormented by these things, he wanted children, though with you he seemed unwilling. And the part regarding an abomination, what was that in regards to?” None of it made sense, he avoided you at all cost, yet he had just called someone perfect, it made your head spin. Scared of being caught spying, you turned and all but ran back to your quarters, causing the Einherjar to look at you in bewilderment, barefooted and teary eyed as you ran into your rooms, closing the door firmly behind you, before collapsing on your bed, trying to make some sense of the scene you had just witnessed. 

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning, you called your maids to serve you breakfast in your rooms, you had not slept, the turmoil of what you had observed had plagued you throughout the night, and you looked worse for wear because of it. You stared blankly at the food placed in front of you, your mind replaying what you had seen over and over as you tried and failed to comprehend what Loki had meant by the words he had used. You had no idea how long you remained in that state when your chief maid called for your attention, you looked at her plainly, not saying anything as she spoke. 

“Your highness, the Queen is asking after your wellbeing as this is the first time you have missed a meal since your arrival at the palace, what shall I tell her as to your absence?” 

“Tell her I have not slept and am feeling poorly and as a result am in no way able to join the family for the remainder of the day.” Was all you could think as you stared ahead once more, not able to even consider being in the presence of others while you attempted to figure out the situation with Loki. The maid nodded and took her leave. 

By mid afternoon, you had not left the position you had been in since morning. A servant removed the still full breakfast plate, and had replaced it with a lunch one, only for that too to be ignored and subsequently removed. You were disturbed from your thoughts when your maid informed you the Queen was at your chambers door, requesting to see you, you nodded your consent and within moments she was in front of you, inspecting your condition. 

“My dear, are you alright, it is not like you to remain inside, especially on a day such as this?” 

“My Queen, I understand your concern, but I am merely not feeling too great after getting little rest last night, I have no doubt that given the chance to sleep well this evening, I will be right as rain again tomorrow.” You attempted to smile, but the look on Frigga’s face told you instantly she was not buying it.

“Very well.” She sighed. “I have no doubt Loki is concerned for you also, will I tell him it is alright for him to visit you as you are not ill with anything that can be caught?” You nodded, knowing there was little chance of him ever setting foot within the walls of your rooms. The Queen gave you a small smile before taking her leave, while you went back to thinking about what it was you witnessed the previous night. 

Dinner time came and went, and as expected, there was no sign of your supposedly concerned husband. If he did not concern himself with you when you were in good health, he would most certainly not concern himself with you when you were said to be ill. You played over every scenario possible in your head as to the equipment you had seen in the room, from Loki merely staving boredom, to him having a mistress that was with his child, the latter cut into you like a knife, but that did not explain the signs of your family crest that donned the cradle, it frustrated you how little you could figure out from your unexpected recon mission. 

Darkness had descended on the kingdom and still you remained where you had begun the day sitting, not moving for anything. Your maids had long since become worried by your behaviour, and unbeknownst to you, had informed your in-laws of your actions, or lack there of throughout the day. 

Frigga called on you once more, and noted you had become even more distant in her absence. When she thought you not to be listening, she inquired to your maid if she thought you with child; the idea caused you to bark a cold laugh. You failed to see the concerned look on her face, or to see her exiting your rooms, as she marched with purpose to her younger son to see what exactly was going on. 

Within the hour there was another knock on your door, though this visitor did not wait to be given consent to enter. Your maids stood and rushed out the door as they were dismissed with a simple hand gesture. Feeling a pair of eyes focused on you, you turned slightly, and were in shock to see your husband standing in front of you. “I was told you were ill.” He explained. 

“I merely have not slept, that is all. Nothing to concern yourself with.” You dismissed. It was the closest you had had to a conversation with him in weeks. 

“Good, well not good, but better than being ill I suppose.” He cleared his throat awkwardly as he spoke. “I merely thought to check on you when I was told you were not feeling well.” 

“I’m surprised you even knew where my quarters are.” You commented bitterly. 

“Sorry?” 

“This is the first time you have set foot within them, I thought you ignorant to their whereabouts.” You turned to look at him, slightly amused to see him standing with his mouth gaping at your words. “You can take your leave now, I understand you do not wish to be in my presence, so do not feel you need be in it any longer.” You made a shooing motion with your hand and indicated to the door. 

The raven haired prince stood still in utter shock. “I do not understand where you get that impression.” He began. 

“Do not think me a fool.” You snapped.

“I think you nothing of the sort.” He retorted.

“Well your blatant avoidance of me and your countless attempts to remain as distant from me as possible speaks greatly of your distain of me, so just leave.” You could feel the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes as you glared at him. 

He swallowed harshly, before turning and heading for the door. As he held it open to exit, he cast his gaze upon you one last time with an odd look you could not place in your mind before he walked out. 

On hearing the door click shut you allowed the tears to fall as sobs racked your very being. You could not but think yourself repulsive; hideous to the man you had to call your husband. Anger coursed through you and you threw a heavy trinket box at the mirror of the vanity table, shattering the glass. Unlike regular marriages, yours could not simply be annulled; royal marriages were expected to remain together, regardless of the situation of those within it. Infidelity was rife in such unions, and it was clearly something you felt you too would have to endure, since your husband had never shown the slightest bit of interest in you. As you collapsed to the floor in tears you failed to see the door open once more at the sound of the glass breaking, nor did you see the face of your husband who was truly concerned by your blatant distress. In your sobbing, he noted the words that fell from your lips, especially the question “What is so wrong with me?”  
.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Somewhere in your sobbing, you had crawled into your bed and fell asleep exhausted well into the early hours of the morning. When you awoke, the palace still in darkness, your eyes stung and your head was pounding with dehydration. You pulled yourself into a seated position before getting out of the bed and walking to the nearby jug to get a drink. Every bone in your body seemed to be aching from the intensity of the crying you had done. You looked at the broken glass that littered the floor around your vanity table. You walked over and stared at your shattered reflexion within the hundreds of little pieces that were scattered around the floor, scoffing at the ironic way it displayed how you felt at that present moment. 

You simply stared at the glass for a few minutes as your mind replayed everything you had been though since your arrival at the palace. You remembered life before your wedding, being teased for being the only daughter among your six brothers, though they all doted on you for being such, you recalled being happy, smiling constantly as you went about your day, and the days you dreamt of finding a suitable husband, who you cared deeply for and who was happy to fill you with his children. Then you thought of what was your reality, a husband whose greatest conversation with you in weeks was merely a mouthful of words, your womb, like your martial bed, empty of any sign of his presence. It began to upset you again, though unlike the night before, you thought to remedy it by finally confronting him. 

Grabbing the cloak you had put on the night previous, you walked through the hall and to your husband’s chamber door, pounding loudly on it as to wake him were he asleep. You heard a muffled cuss word from within, as well as a slight stumbling noise before the door opened slightly. Upon seeing it was you, Loki opened it further; he looked up and down the hall in bewilderment. “Are we under attack?” 

“I must speak with you?” you stated. 

“Can it not wait until morning?” 

“In the months since our wedding you refuse to be in my presence unless necessary. Why?” you demanded, ignoring his question.

“Because…” he began. 

“I get that an arranged marriage is anything but ideal, but to have a mistress with child and not even attempt such with your supposed wife is absurd.” You snapped. 

Any attempts to explain himself died on Loki’s tongue. “A mistress? With child? What are you speaking of?” 

“You, carving baby furniture, since you refuse to lay with me, I can only assume it is for the woman you do lay with.” 

Loki paled visibly “How do you know about ….?” 

“Last night I walked passed your quarters as you were carving it, you left the secret door slightly ajar.” You explained. 

Loki seemed to take a moment to think about what you said. “I do not refuse to lay with you.” 

“Really, well since our wedding day, we have not even consummated the union, which leads me to believe that you are so repulsed by me that you are in fear of the mere thought of me getting with child to do so.” 

Loki laughed, angering and hurting you more than you could let on. “Is that what you honestly think?” He asked in disbelief. “That I am repulsed by you?” You nodded, unable to speak; knowing that if you were to, you would be permitting the tears that were now welling in your eyes to fall. “I am not repulsed by you, quite the opposite in fact; I think it is you that is repulsed by me.” 

“What?” 

“Your father and Odin never told you, did they?” he asked. You looked at him in bewilderment. “I see, they haven’t, well then it falls upon me to tell you, I am not a son of Odin, I am not even a son of Asgard. I was taken from Jotenheim as an infant, cast out to die in a citadel by my true father King Laufey, for being a meagre runt, Odin brought me to Asgard and made me of his house, and for some perverse reason, agreed to drag you into this charade.” 

You stared wide eyed at him, trying to compute what was just told to you. Loki was a Jotunn. “And that is why since we were children you have avoided me?” you asked. “You knew we were betrothed, but also that you were Jotunn and as such were not the least bit interested in me.” 

“I only found out my true heritage not long before we were wed.”

“Then why have you always avoided me. If I entered a room you left it when we were younger, why?” 

“Because I was nervous.” He admitted, staring at his hands. 

“Why?” 

“Are you truly so blind?” you looked to him for an explanation. “Please do not have me say it.” 

“Say what?” you were truly baffled to what he was saying. 

“I was nervous around you because I liked you, I always have.” Your eyebrows shot up in shock at the admission. “Come, you must see your appeal, you are beautiful, witty, humorous, and incredibly intelligent, one of very few whose mind challenges my own. When I found out we were to be wed, I was actually happy about it, until I found out what I really am.” He explained. 

“Do you honestly expect me to believe you?” you asked sceptically. “I do not know why I came here expecting you to be truthful, you are the God of Lies after all.” You dismissed, turning to leave.

“I speak the truth; there is none in the nine realms that wishes it to not be so more than I, which you have to believe. I wish nothing more than for it be false but it is not. And I knew once you found out you would want nothing to do with me. Who could possibly wish to lay with an abomination such as me and risk carrying a half Jotunn child? I could never impose such a fate on you.” You were taken back by the tears in his eyes and the intense look in them, as you surveyed them; it shocked you to see they were filled with something akin to adoration. 

You spent a few moments mulling over what your husband had confessed to you. You thought of the stories you had been told as a child, how your own father had fought along side Odin in Jotenheim, how they took the Casket of Ancient Winters from the fallen race of frost giants, cold and malicious creatures, incapable of caring and love. But you also thought to Odin’s mother, Besla, wife of Bor, she had been a frost giant, and she was loved and revered almost as much as Frigga, since she was queen in a time before the millennia long war that had shaped Asgard’s new opinion of the Ice realm’s chief inhabitants. You looked up at Loki’s emerald eyes; still filled with fear at how you were going to react to the revelation he had just thrusted upon you. “I don’t care.” Loki cocked his head slightly in confusion at your statement. “I don’t care that you are Jotunn, same as I would not care if you were Midgardian, Vanir, Aesir, it does not matter.” 

“How can you say that? The Jotnar…” 

“Were allied with Asgard long before they were our enemies.” You finished. “The Allfather is half Jotunn, lest you forget. Being Jotunn clearly does not equate to being a mindless animal. I saw what you created for a child you dare not wish existed, those are not the actions of heartless beast.” 

“You do not know what you are saying.” Loki dismissed. 

“I am saying that I do not care, I do not care that any child we would have would be half Jotunn. Were it to be born blue with red eyes I would still love it dearly.”

“You are just saying that.” 

“My Gods, I thought I was in luck marrying the intelligent prince, I fear I was mistaken.” You scoffed. “Loki, I am okay with carrying a half Jotunn child, I do not think myself to be stuttering, so I cannot see how you are not able to comprehend what is being said to you.”

“You are serious?” he stared at you in disbelief, placing his hands upon your shoulders, you nodded in response. “Why were you so heartbroken earlier, I have never heard such pain.” 

“I thought you repulsed by me.” 

“How could you possibly think such a thing, I think you the most perfect creature in all the nine realms. I have adored and loved you since we were adolescents. The mere idea of taking a mistress would never so much as enter my thoughts, not if you are truly willing to consider carrying my child.” 

“I am willing, I want nothing more than to have a marriage as happy as that of my parents, and with as many children.” You admitted slightly bashfully. 

“Do you not have several brothers?” Loki asked, to which you nodded. “Well, I think we had best start soon so.” He leant in and kissed your lips gently with his cool ones, which you responded eagerly to. “Though I think I may have to carve more furnishings if you are as good at all things as you are at kissing.”


End file.
